Tournament of Champions: The Elite Eight

Can you feel it? Can you feel the excitement building? The raucous crowds, the breathless announcers? You can? Well, I think you're having a stroke.

The Tournament of Champions is down to the last eight contestants, a group I refer to and hereby trademark as The Elite Eight.™ As usual for Friday, here's a look back at how we got to this point.

Berryessa Division, Round 3

• Chuck Reed (1) defeated Larry Stone (12) 32-26
• Phaedra Ellis-Lamkins (3) defeated Nora Campos (2) 10-9. Kinda.
  

Last week, I predicted that the final showdown in this bracket, no matter who won either of these match-ups, would be a doozy. And it will - if only because of how it shook out.

By now, the tale of how I wasted a ton of time Monday trying to figure out how to stop rampant cheating is an old one, and not really worth repeating. But, since everyone loves a good analogy, please indulge me for a moment.

Imagine, if you will, the NCAA tournament, which is similar in surprising ways to our Tournament of Champions. In one bracket therein, Duke and North Carolina are ranked 1 and 2 with, I don't know, Baylor in at number 3. During the climactic Tar Heels / Baylor (what's their nickname? Not worth Googling) game, some Tar Heels fans, despite their being up by 15, start throwing rocks at the Baylor players. And tripping them. And murdering them in cold blood. What would the NCAA do?

Bad example, perhaps, since the NCAA would immediately license powder blue t-shirts expressing condolences. But I think they might also give Baylor's team a pass. But they might not. Who cares, really.

The point is this. Chuck Reed and Phaedra Ellis-Lamkins will do battle next Monday for a spot in the Final Four. Who has more political influence? Pins and needles, folks. Pins and needles.

Downtown Division, Round 3

• Mike Honda (1) defeated Sam Liccardo (4) 41-16
• Ken Yeager (2) defeated Joe Coto (11) 38-20

The most lopsided match of the week saw upstart politician Liccardo smothered by that karaoke-loving institution from the United States Congress. Better luck next year, Sam.

Honda will face Ken Yeager, as he once did, twelve years ago, in the race for the 23rd Assembly seat - now, of course, coincidentally held by Yeager's victim this round. See how much fun we're having?

Will Honda emerge victorious again? Will Yeager have his revenge? Will Liccardo ever recover from this emotional trauma? Does anyone ever call Joe Coto, Joseph? Doesn't that sound funnier - Joseph Coto?

Willow Glen Division, Round 3

• John Sobrato (4) defeated Ira Ruskin (9) 21-16
• The Democratic Party (6) defeated Zoe Lofgren (2) 23-16

As predicted, this bracket comes down to Sobrato vs. the Dems. And by "as predicted" I mean, of course, huh? These are the two most influential groups in a bracket that included Tom McEnery, lobbyists and Judy Chirco? Well, if you say so.

This, mind you, is the only bracket in which the number one seed (the afore-mentioned McEnery) didn't make it to the final match-up. Ain't that a shame.

Anyway, I couldn't tell you which way this will end up. If I'm lucky, both sides will spend a mill or so trying to influence the election. My email is writer@sanjoserevealed.com, folks, and I'm happy to set up a PayPal account.

Almaden Valley Division, Round 3

• Mercury News (1) defeated Susan Hammer (5) 24-18
• Police Officers Association (2) defeated Dave Cortese (2) 30-11

This bracket continues to be the least surprising, as the numbers 1 and 2 seeds face off next week. The Police Officers Association (or, as the graph says after it cuts their name off, the 'Ice Officers Association', which is kind of a cooler namer, no pun intended) has its work cut out for it. Cortese was probably a tougher match-up against the Mercury News, but we'll see.

Hopefully both sides play fair - I'd hate to see the Merc's editorial board find heroin planted in the back of their Priuses, and it would definitely devastate the POA's chances if the Merc continued their awesome redesigns.


Anyway. Two more weeks of this nonsense. Next week, we get our Final Four (also trademarked!) and the week following, our Terminal Two and then our Wonderful One. Keep up the voting, lay off the cheating, and let's go John Sobrato!*

* sponsored by Sobrato Development, a wonderful provider of quality homes and other crap.